Category: Silly

Of Vampires

“Children of the night, SHUT UP!”
-Love at First Bite

This is for Small Dog's friends on "Team Jacob." He's still NOT REAL, but from my limited knowledge he's a little less whiny.

I cannot escape them!  They’re every, everywhere!  Cute campus couples as Bella and Edward (my opinion of the literary drivel that is Twilight can be found here) and teachers/staff dressing the part.  The new stupid looking vampire kids movie the name of which I can’t recall, The Vampire Diaries on TV…even my weekly dose of Sherlock Holmes on PBS was a mystery about a supposed vampire this week!  Yes, I get that crushing on the undead is trendy, but honestly!  Way to beat a dead horse.

Now, I liked the Interview With the Vampire movie when I saw it, I was delightfully creeped out by Bram Stoker’s Dracula (I borrowed it from the library and it had such a chilling cover that I had to turn it face down and shove it under my bureau at night), and I am going to see Nosferatu with Margot tonight…but the obsession some people feel for vampires is bizarre.

How ''bout a date, baby?  'No?'  But...Edward's a, uh, cousin of mine!
Hey, baby, how 'bout a date? No?! But...Edward's my, uh, cousin! Yeah, that's it!

Mostly I find it funny (from a historian’s viewpoint) that the sex-crazed, hauntingly beautiful, interestingly pale and tragic, romantic figures that most people associate with the term are only a product of the Victorians (actually…the above description fits those Victorians themselves pretty well too…).  Originally vampires were the spirits of suicide victims, witches, heretics, etc. and resembled blood drenched bloated corpses.  Sexy!