“This just in!  The secret to weight loss revealed: eat less, move more!”
– a friend’s Facebook status

Despite that three day nosedive into blissful sloth and inactivity, I’ve been doing rather well on the health end recently.  See, I’ve finally learned some of the keys to weight loss and exercise – none of them revolutionary to anyone with a functioning brain, but helpful nonetheless.

Principle the First: Garbage in, garbage out.  I’ve hit my mid-twenties and my metabolism has hit the wall, which makes me want to hit things.  Lots of hitting, but I digress.  I now understand why Mum eats large salads and few deserts, this dizzying cocktail of hormones that is feminine existence means that small things will have big effects on my system.  If I eat junk food I will feel awful.  Period.  Plan meals accordingly.

Principle the Second: exercise will trim the fat, not the skeleton.  I will never again go through the cycle of wanting to be thinner, working my bum off for months, and then throwing myself down a well of despair when my ribcage hasn’t shrunk to give me a longer waist.  My skeleton isn’t going anywhere…but the underused muscle will tone up because –

Principle the Third: underneath this shell of laziness and love of caramel, I actually do have a pretty nice little figure.  Willowy?  No.  Slender?  Ha.  Hourglass and the hallmark of a different era?  Yes.  But with a little effort, fabulous.  However –

Principle the Fourth: all the potential in the world is wasted if I don’t actually do anything about it.  Therefore one must watch the calories and make sure the ones going in are good, indulge rarely, snack better, and work out everyday.

Result: I’ve lost 5lbs in two weeks.  And since this is in no way tied to New Year’s Resolutions, the urge to quit hasn’t reared its ugly head.