Dating Advice

Your girlfriend, huh? Funny. She said otherwise.

Our department has quite the accumulated dating history and insight.  Between the roller coaster romances of our student employees and the dozens of people we caution, cite, and arrest for stalking, we are connoisseurs of crazy love.  Here’s some wisdom gleaned in the last two weeks.

(Discussing when to make a move to hold a girl’s hand)
Bebe: You just have to feel her vibe.  If she wants you to hold her hand or kiss you, she’ll let you know.
Stuckford: Her vibe, huh?
Bebe: Yeah.  Feel her vibe.
C.: Just, ah, don’t feel anything else!

(Know the correct name for foreign foods you intend to order.  For example, when desiring polenta do not say…)
Random girl one of our officers went out with: I like Italian food.  I’ll have the placenta.

And finally, if you’re married, don’t ask out one of your co-workers!  Trust me, that news will travel
Michael: Yeah…the bishop’s going to have something to say about that.
C.: …And God. 
Daisy: Well, I hit him on the head with a book and said “Begone!”  It worked.

One thought on “Dating Advice”

  1. “C’mon guys, the Creepers are out
    Along the trail to eternity.
    Rise and shout, our yells will ring out,
    As you unfold your dating stories.
    On you go to avoid APEX Bros,
    Or men with wives and sons and daughters.
    As we join in sighs, cover our eyes, our faith has died.
    We’ll raise our nooses high in the blue,
    And bemoan the Creepers of Uni

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