“‘Tis pleasant purchasing our fellow-creatures; And all are to be sold, if you consider Their passions, and are dext’rous; some by features Are brought up, others by a warlike leader; Some by a place–as tend their years or natures; The most by ready cash–but all have prices, From crowns to kicks, according to their vices.”
– Lord Byron, Don Juan canto V, st. 27
Holidays are fun, regardless of nationality. Take today: Cindo de Mayo. Some people celebrate with chips and salsa, some with a fiesta, some with mariachi bands. And some with bribery.
A certain student is banned from driving on campus. This is due in large part to him accumulating up to four tickets in one day, parking in service/handicapped stalls, trying to fight our student officers, and claiming that he never received information that three people all told him (at the same time, in the same room together). He was informed he had the ability to appeal the ban but would not be able to bring his car onto campus until a final decision had been made. He said he understood and left.
Today he came into our office, and asked for Red.
“You know about Cinco de Mayo, right?” he asked. “It’s today. So I brought you this.”
He held out a small packaged piece of tres leches cake with a meaningful expression.
“K, bye” he said quickly and hurried out.
Five minutes later we found his car in a non-student parking lot.
The real mystery here is, if he were trying to circumvent parking rules, why did he draw attention to himself by 1) attempted bribery and, 2) (and this is more perplexing) leaving his emergency lights flashing merrily away for over an hour?
How do you celebrate Cinco de Mayo? Or any holiday for that matter?
Small Dog Syndrome 
Um, obviously I celebrate by trying to bribe university departments. Don’t we all?
Certainly!
I was hoping to celebrate by telling someone I was going to steal their tires and then steal their tires. Because that’s smart. And not obvious. Agch! The future of America!
I thought it was a big holiday for the Mexican people but apparently not!
What a great blog, I really enjoyed reading 🙂
LOL I tried getting my ticket for $10 removed 😦 but no bribery. LOL Well hopefully he’ll get his act together and not rack up any more tickets. 🙂 I hope you’ll have mercy on him!
The question is, was anyone brave enough to actually sample the cake?
I personally would have brought him in for a mental health eval. The offender is obviously not all there.
Come on! For a decent bribe, he should have brought Godiva!
You, my cyber friend, are a lady of exquisite taste. And may bribe my office anytime.
Wow, that’s some grade A stupid there… though to be honest, I love Tres Leches so much I would probably overlook the parking that day. But only that day.
I’m guessing he isn’t the brightest crayon in the box? But hey that little cake thing looks good 🙂 So all should be forgiven!
Chin chilli day was fun … I think it owes something to Caddy Shack … if anyone remembers that early Bill Murray movie …
Margaritas and nachos- that’s what cinco de mayo has always been for me… :o)
Well, at least he left you a gift- obviously he knew he was doing soemthing wrong…does not excuse the behaviour but at least shows he does have a conscience… :o)
Do yourselves and this poor man a favor, and don’t allow him to take anymore courses until he undergoes a psych eval. In the meantime, do not, repeat, do NOT eat the cake!
Hmmmm…… If his continued parking violations weren’t evidence enough, surely the SIZE of the bribe is proof of his stupidness!! Think big man if you’re going to persuade people.
http://danjswade.wordpress.com
Funny… is he actually in college classes or does he just think he is, how in the world does he pass? Cute post. 🙂
I’ve heard Cinco De Mayo isn’t celebrated in Mexico with the enthusiasm that it receives in the States. I think one positive about the USA celebrating it though is that it promotes the Mexican cultural heritage that the US has, and acknowledges how very much a part of American society, Mexican culture has influenced!
I surely hope nobody ate the cake. Quite weird for him to drop off a cake and then purposely get a ticket. There’s a name for guys like him, but I’ll keep it to myself.
Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!
Thumbs up, and keep it going!
Cheers,