Free the Kraken: Victim of Over-Marketing!

“I’m having a little trouble concentrating.”
“Oh, well I could sell you some of my Adderall if you want.”
“No, thanks, I’m off pills.”
“That’s a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, ‘Blah I am a Kraken from the sea!'”
“I hear that was you.”
“Well, it was good seeing you, Su-Chin.”
– Juno, 2007

I’ve been doing some thinking, and I’ve decided that the stupidest line that could ever possibly be shouted out at any given time is, “Release the Kraken.”

For one very good reason: it’s overused.  Which is too bad really, it’s a potentially great line completely slaughtered by pop culture.

There are the hordes of annoying people trying to celebrate this year’s remake of Clash of the Titans, by trying to make “Release the Kraken” happen.

This phenomena is not new.  One of the oddest utterances of this phrase occurred in 2004, during a pre-season friendly between Liverpool and Celtic held in Connecticut.  Max Bretos on the Fox Sports commentary team shouted the following…

In fact, the only time I’ve ever heard the word “kraken” without its seeming obligatory introductory “release the-” has been in Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean series (which is also, incidentally, dying the slow death of cultural over-exposure).

I’m shallow enough to admit that the constant barrage of this phrase, overheard in grocery stores, at malls, on campus, and in parking lots (in the last week alone), is the main reason that I have no interest in seeing this movie.  Also, I remember seeing the original at some point in my childhood and, being something of a wunderkind with mythology (read: nerd), feeling absolutely disgusted with the creative liberties they took.  Mechanical owl?  Medusa spitting scorpions from her decapitated neck?  Acidic blood?  Please!  I’m a purist.

3 thoughts on “Free the Kraken: Victim of Over-Marketing!”

  1. Should I be embarassed that this is the first time I’ve ever read/heard the phase “release the kraken?”

    1. Come back to campus, love. You will hear the freshman trumpeting it to the mountains. Teenage boys in particular seem to find it inspiring.

  2. I’ve never heard it either. However, I avoid freshmen other than those I must interact with at work.

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