“Thanksgiving, man.  Not a good day to be my pants.”
-Kevin Smith

America is a funny place as regards holidays because, as far as I have been able to make out, there is only one truly American holiday.  Don’t try to sell me on Independence Day, lots of countries have one and America managed to screw up theirs bigtime (July 2, 1776, anybody?).  Besides I really look at is as more of a celebration of the 18th century as a whole.  I’m talking about Thanksgiving, and it’s on the verge of extinction.

Over the past few years, we have managed to strip the significance out of most holidays to a depressing degree (no religious overtones, historical sense or accuracy, or original sense of importance allowed, please).  Easter is mostly overlooked, Valentines Day is a vomitorious cacophony of red cellophane, pink foil, and ridiculously priced flowers (I have seen the price shift a full 20 dollars upward for a single day…probably for panicked and forgetful menfolk), St. Patrick’s Day is little more than excuse for people to claim Irish heritage for snogs and get drunk, Halloween has become more than a little slutty, and then there’s Christmas.  Which has slowly been commercialized over the years from the Day of Giving to the Day of Getting.  All are borrowed from immigrants, Roman martyrs, and early Christianity/paganism.  The North American continent is in fact responsible for the singular event, Thanksgiving. 

Falling smack between Gluttony and Greed (aka, Halloween and Christmas) should come Gratitude…but it’s disappearing.  The day before Halloween snowflakes, Father Christmases, and reindeer abounded in stores while countdowns appeared: “XX Shopping Days Left!!!” 

It’s too bad, really.  Apart from the slaughter of millions of turkeys, I think having a day entirely devoted to gratitude is a profound and important thing.  And the food!  People, the food!  Don’t get me wrong, I love carols, cider, snow, and 24-hour runs of A Christmas Story, but don’t deny me my day of potatoes, pies, beans, stuffing, martinelli, cranberry and marmalade sauce, apples, homemade rolls, and said slaughtered bird.

I wish we weren’t in such a hurry sometimes.  Yes, I think Christmas is the best holiday there is and I wander around in a holly jolly fog from Black Friday through Three Kings Day (Jan. 6) when my family traditionally takes our tree down, but you’ve got to admit there’s a lot of good stuff between now and then. 

Fall/Winter is when you get the good food, the good dates, the good parties.  Pumpkins and costumes, hot chocolate and blankets, snow and the required snowball fights, ice skating and sledding.  And did I mention the holidays?  All of them.