Alright, I’m not so fine anymore!  I’ve been job hunting steadily and hard and have had a great deal of help from some unexpected sources, but today the panic I’ve been holding at bay is howling at the bars of its cage.  While I run around going “Lalala!  I can’t hear you!”

My problem is this: I know what I want to do, I just literally don’t have the time to do it!  I want to be a writer, a novelist if I’m in fact good enough, but I can’t sit around at my laptop all day waiting for the Muses to bless me with inspiration.  First of all, my laptop is a cantankerous piece of equipment which hates me and second, a girl has to eat and pay rent.  One of those unexpected sources of help has been a freelancing assignment (many thanks, Peregrine) and hopefully more will follow, and another has been an old job where the bosses love me and want to help me out…but it’s not the same thing as a full time job with benefits.

I guess my source of frustration is that I’m more than capable of taking care of myself if given the minimal amount of resources, I just don’t have them at all right now.  Which I’m not used to and not enjoying.  I hate dependency, but I’m truly dependent for the first time since coming to school.  I feel like I have nothing to go on, and I’m already getting exhausted from worry and slamming doors. 

Ah well, rant over, back to the grind.