Sometimes, I can’t help but feel it would be far more relaxing to be a man in some ways.  Men aren’t required to keep up inter-personal relationships, the duties of birthday reminders, holiday gifts, scheduling time with friends, and so forth, seem to fall to their wives, mothers, sisters, and secretaries.  But us girls are required to drop everything and come running whenever someone hooks up, breaks up, moves in, moves out, get promoted, gets fired, or has some sort of scandalous adventure.  And we are also required to be completely and utterly enthralled by each separate event: laugh, squeal, boo, condole, and bitch as necessary and with genuine enthusiasm.  Let me tell you, if you have interesting friends as I am lucky enough to, you had better have one seriously big energy reserve!

Tonight, I have been called in on girlfriend duty!  Belle has a new man in her life.  Well, not so much as new as a recurring character who fades in and out.  I haven’t even met the boy and I want to like him, but he said something to her which makes me question his manhood a bit.  He and Belle have done this thing for a while where they flirt shamelessly through email, texting, and phone tag, but whenever it came to actually hanging out he would back out at the last minute.  Belle (who gets props for sheer balls) actually called him on it.
“So, want to hang out sometime this week?” he asked.  About the tenth time or so he’s said that particular phrase.
“Sure,” Belle says, “but I know it will never happen.”
“Huh?”
“NorCal, we always make plans and you always ditch.  It’s never going to happen.”
–Moment of silence–
“Sorry I’ve been such a flake, the truth is you intimidated me.”

And presto!  Instant date!  By all accounts it went spectacularly well, hence the need for a late night girl session, wink wink.

Here’s the thing with me, though: I no longer buy into the whole “he’s just intimidated of her” mentality.  I mean, I do think it exists and is pretty common, but I think the concept gets milked for far more than it’s worth.  It’s almost become a Get Out of Jail Free card in relationships.  If a man acts up or behaves badly towards a girl, all he has to say was that he was scared of or intimidated by her and suddenly his behavior, though perhaps not smiled upon, is at least justified. 
– Go on a few dates, spend a lot of time with a guy for a month or so, suddenly he disapeares, never to be heard from again.  Your girlfriends (called in for the round table council) all declare, “You’re too fabulous, he was just intimidated by you.”  Which is no doubt the truth (because you ARE too fabulous, you minx) but in the end, it doesn’t make the guy any less of a prick.
– Guy says he loves spending time with you, but that he finds you too intimidating.  This has two possible conclusions 1) he’s a pansy and you’re better off without, or 2) things just aren’t working out but he’s too coward to say so.  Either way, there is a definite case of spinelessness here.

The list goes on and on, any sort of faux pas a guy can make has probably been justified by the “Intimidation Excuse” at some point, but I seriously think it’s an overused and overrated one. 

There, rant over.  But the way Belle’s eyes are sparkling, Norcal will probably be around for a while.  Which means lots of late nights and mocktails.  Yes, MOCKtails.  And if you saw how wild we get on sugar, you’d understand why we must never, ever touch alcohol!