“Bath twice a day to be really clean, once a day to be passably clean, once a week to avoid being a public menace.”
– Anthony Burgess 

In preparation for our move I’ve started turning out my cupboards and have been rather alarmed to find the amount of scented, moisturizing, exfoliating, glittering, soothing, plumping, firming, sculpting, finishing, polishing, masking, accentuating, and any verbs I may have forgotten products that have been stashed away.  I’m female and even I’m baffled by this hoard.  A billion years from now, if the aliens landed and unearthed the fossilized remains of my cabinet, they would be forced to conclude that the human race must have been the most terrifyingly malodorous, unhygienic species to have ever been set out wandering.

Girls do this, buy each other lotions and bottles of nuclear colored stuff.  Which in and of itself is fine, because the trouble isn’t quality, but quantity.  When you have some sort of major life event to celebrate and a host of friends just as academically poverty stricken as yourself, this gunk is an excellent present choice for the giver…but not necessarily the receiver.  And, despite your best attempts at regifting, it does tend to pile up.  I usually get the best products from my close friends and godmother/sisters and the rest goes straight into a pile to be bestowed to the next friend having a birthday.  Even if I showered three times a day, I could not work through the armfuls of creams, perfumes, etc. that have just been unearthed from my closets.

And lest you think I’m some sort of skinflint, yes I buy real presents too, I’m just not one to pass up the opportunity to get rid of some of this overabundance.  It was a a thrill to ship a ton of this stuff off to Snickers not but a couple months ago…where on earth did this secret cache come from?  And does anyone want some of it?