Nightmares Before Christmas

“Marley was dead, to begin with.  There was no question…Marley was dead as a doornail.”
-Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

Ever noticed how there are some decidedly awful things leading to Christmas?  And I’m not even talking about Evil Relatives or fruitcake that may or may not be fossilized, I’m only talking about the entertainment!

Creepiness exacerbated by slow motion!
Creepiness exacerbated by slow motion!

Probably my favorite Christmas movie is How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  Kiri gave me a copy on DVD last year, awesome present.  But despite the great message I maintain it’s Number 3 on the list of Creepy Christmas Moments.  For some reason, although as a kid I waited for it every year with excitement, when Dr. Suess’s  Grinch made this face it sent fearful quivers through my childish soul.  Animated evil.

Do NOT let your children watch this, it destroys souls!  Or just really bums me out, whatever.
Do NOT let your children watch this, it destroys souls! Or just really bums me out, whatever.

This one isn’t creepy but I hate it nonetheless.  Based on an English children’s book and turned into a short film in the 1980’s my mom had The Snowman on VHS when I was a girl and I admit it’s  a charming film (was nominated for an Academy Award for Animated Short Film and played every year since it’s creation in England and elsewhere)…except for that it’s HORRIBLE!  I’m not a crier, ask J. (what am I up to, cried six times in 9 months of dating?).  I hate crying, apart from the feeling of weakness it gives me (J. and Scotticus would probably call it a sense of humanity) it makes every girl in the world look like a banshee.  Don’t try to sell me on glistening tears, we all become frights.  But I digress…the reason I hate this film is that the ending makes me weep.  I loathe it.  It’s unbearably sad.  I haven’t seen it in years because I hate it so.

The Ghost of Christmases Yet to Come. Ugh. Thoughts to ruin the holidays if you've bad in-laws or unpleasant air travel, or bad food you're forced to eat, or...
The Ghost of Christmases Yet to Come. Ugh. Thoughts to ruin the holidays if you've bad in-laws or unpleasant air travel, or bad food you're forced to eat, or...

And finally, the quintessential holiday tale, A Christmas Carol.  With such loveable favorites as saintly Tiny Tim, unquenchably friendly Nephew Fred, and reformed sinner Scrooge it’s practically required viewing.  But, lest we forget, this entire thing is about hauntings.  And just because our first two Christmas ghosts are more stern than creepy (except in the Muppet Christmas Carol) there’s a grim reaper-esque third who invariably makes his entrance with ominous horns and oboes, shroud-like drapings, and sinister silence.  And unlike the Grinchy grin which was sort of fun-scary, this spectre genuinely gave me the willies every year! 

Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight…..(wooooOOOOoooooo…)

7 thoughts on “Nightmares Before Christmas”

  1. Dude. When I was a kid, my family watched this crazy version of “A Christmas Carol” where the Ghost of Christmas Past had tiny starving children for legs! It was the scariest image I had seen in my life! It was like one of those photos out of National Geographic showing how bad starvation is in third world countries. I went to bed dreaming about scary rib cage children instead of Santa Clause and egg nog… mmmm nog!! Yeah. That should explain some things I guess…

  2. Praises for How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Always a classic and certainly was a favorite since I was a child. Can’t deny I’ve not really been much of a Christmas movie viewer in more recent years. What can I say? I’m corrupt, you know it, I know it, my mother knows it. Haven’t seen The Snowman but I have a hunch I’m not really missing out. And a Muppet Christmas Carol or Mickey’s Christmas Carol (where have all the classic Mickey & Minnie Mouse/Donald Duck/Goofy/Pluto Disney cartoons gone?) are both spectacular. Although I absolutely love Scrooged as well. Oh how my heart loves quality parodies (and Bill Murray).

    I don’t know what to make of your crying track record. I guess on the plus side, it just affirms you are in fact female. And somehow I think I’m going to get accused of being sexist for that comment but that’s not really how I mean it. But congratulations on having some semblance of humanity and femininity.

  3. You know, you are right. I never considered all the creepy christmas stories that there are!
    I must admit, I sometimes make Jared do the grinch smile. He tries to do it in slow motion- and it cracks me up every time. I wish you could see it!

  4. Okay, A Christmas Story- the one about the Red Rider BB Gun? Classic. And Elf? I like that one too.

    I, for one, do not look like a banshee when I cry. I look gorgeous crying- as I typically look gorgeous doing everything. (The first part is not facetious; the second is.)

    Merry Christmas to you, too. I love your humanity.

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